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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26252116">Solarium</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/phaine1993/pseuds/phaine1993'>phaine1993</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Mamamoo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 03:07:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,192</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26252116</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/phaine1993/pseuds/phaine1993</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A freelancer who goes with the flow. A phone call that turns numerous, intertwining stories of the past and its repercussions that might change their future altogether.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ahn Hyejin | Hwasa/Moon Byulyi | Moonbyul, Jung Wheein/Kim Yongsun | Solar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. 1969 Moon Landing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They said she was named after the brightest star in the sky.</p><p> </p><p>“You have to be grateful to be named after the brightest star in the sky.”</p><p> </p><p>“And they combined it as well with its companion, the Moon! What a genius.”</p><p> </p><p>Or maybe his father was just that obsessed with moon landing. The 1969 historical moment that shaken the whole world, even with the nation flag that didn’t quite flutter to the way it should be.</p><p> </p><p>A perfect match to her father’s dream to land on a fortune. No matter the cause. No matter the sacrifice. He would gladly give away everything for that one stroke of luck, for that one chance of turnabout.</p><p> </p><p>And her mother, her sweet, sweet and demure mother, doing everything she can to bring that dream into fruition, after years of questioning why he cannot just accept his wife and daughter as the fortune he always dream of.</p><p> </p><p>“Byul-ah, we have a mission.”</p><p> </p><p>She looked at her mother quizzically.</p><p> </p><p>“Mommy will try her best to let daddy see that we are indeed his pride and joy. Now, don’t you want the same? You should strive to be the pride and joy your father would always want you to be.”</p><p> </p><p>Sitting on her mother’s lap, it’s not like she has a choice. After all, she is her father’s daughter. Isn’t it the duty of all daughters in the world to make their father happy?</p><p> </p><p>And so she excelled in all lessons at school. Mathematics is no big deal. English is her favourite lesson. History is only the cherry on top. Does that make her a geek? Well, perhaps you can ask the throngs of her ‘admirers’ that will never fail to clap and shriek every time she managed to score a goal for any team she attend to. And the beads of sweat trickling from the hair line and dripping from chin that can drive 11 year-old-girls raging hormones bubbling.</p><p>But perhaps not so much with Art and Craft.</p><p> </p><p>Pay attention to the rim. Cut it evenly. Match it to the shapes. Do not miss any of the pieces, if so, point reduction. Do not forget to color it. Don’t want to? Then you can kiss your score goodbye. She was this close to bang her rusty scissor to the edge of the table before a voice cut.</p><p> </p><p>“Your scissor is dull.”</p><p> </p><p>She was startled before turning to the left, facing her classmate who happens to sit beside her. The first thing that she notice is her mole.</p><p> </p><p>“Here, use mine. I am almost finished anyway. Just return it back to me when you’re done.”</p><p> </p><p>And thus she resumed her work again, completely ignoring everyone around her.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank… you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t mention it.”</p><p> </p><p>Okay, she should have said something. She put her right hand towards the mole girl, who stares at her back.</p><p> </p><p>“This is the first time we talk. My name is Moonbyul.”</p><p> </p><p>It takes a moment before she decides to shake her hand back.</p><p> </p><p>“Hyejin.”</p><p> </p><p>&lt;&gt;</p><p> </p><p>Contrary to what everyone believes, nothing changes. Moonbyul is still the same popular girl she was, surrounded by girls and receiving glares from boys, probably out of jealousy. While Hyejin, the new transfer student, will always sit at that one seat near the window, surrounded by one and eventually, none.</p><p> </p><p>“I heard she cause a problem in her previous school. That must be the reason why she got transferred here 2 months before the end of the school year.”</p><p> </p><p>“She rejected every advances. One of our girls have a crush on this one boy and that Ahn ruined everything.”</p><p> </p><p>“How?”</p><p> </p><p>“She told the boy and he rejects my friend the next morning. I bet she told him to do it.”</p><p> </p><p>The rumors were starting to grate on her ears but what can she do? As Moonbyul glance at that seat near the window, she was met with a blank stare to the window.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>“Ahn Hyejin-sshi.”</p><p> </p><p>The field is almost empty. The crack of the dawn is a sure sign that every students should have gone home, but Moonbyul is not in the mood to adhere by the rules. She stands in front of the slide, looking at the mole girl who stands at the top of it, only to found her staring back, sporting a surprised look.</p><p> </p><p>“You scared me for a second. There is no need to be so loud.”</p><p> </p><p>Is she joking with her? Moonbyul take one deep breath before turning to Hyejin with what she considered the most sincere smile and comforting look in her eyes. “The rumors were not true, isn’t it? We have to tell the teacher about this. If you want I will come with you-”</p><p> </p><p>“Stop it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes?”</p><p> </p><p>Hyejin lift her hand, pinching her two cheeks and pull it to the side, showing a wide grin.</p><p> </p><p>“Your smile looks like this. It looks so tiring, looking at it tires me so much.”</p><p> </p><p>Moonbyul was at the loss of words. She didn’t know what to say as Hyejin jumps of the slide, coming to her.</p><p> </p><p>And proceed to cup Moonbyul’s cheek in her palm.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you for the offer, though. It was very sweet of you to do so.”</p><p> </p><p>Moonbyul was frozen to the ground as the girl left the park, humming a tune to an unknown song along the way.</p><p> </p><p>&lt;&gt;</p><p> </p><p>It was safe to say that her mind was filled with the same girl since that day.</p><p> </p><p>The mole around her mouth during Mathematics.</p><p> </p><p>Her tanned skin during English.</p><p> </p><p>That smirk that has to look so … what’s the word?</p><p> </p><p>Alluring?</p><p> </p><p>She drop her own head to the desk, producing a really loud sound that shocks everyone in History Class. Finally realizing the noise that she had cause, Moonbyul raise her right hand, muttered weakly. “Can I go to the toilet, please?”</p><p> </p><p>She swears she could heard a faint humming, coming from the seat near the window.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>It was the stickiest summer she had ever experienced.</p><p> </p><p>Drenched from head to toe, her uniform shirt grossly sticking to her back like a wet newspaper, Moonbyul hasten her steps to hurry home, get rid of the clothes and checking whether that ice lolly she keep in the freezer still remains at the same place.</p><p> </p><p>“Mom?”</p><p> </p><p>She found her mom standing in front of the building. But her mom didn’t budge. She look blankly at their flat on the second floor.</p><p> </p><p>The window was pitched black. Moonbyul was about to step forward when a hand grip hers harshly. Moonbyul was about to question before she look upon her mother’s face.</p><p> </p><p>Her hands are shaking madly. Her eyes even more so.</p><p> </p><p>The sound of the door opened jolted her awake. In her range of view she could see someone coming out of the door.</p><p> </p><p>It was a woman. The woman that holds her father’s hand and kissing her all over.</p><p> </p><p>Father looks so pleased.</p><p> </p><p>“Mom!”</p><p> </p><p>Moonbyul could only see red as she chased her mother that running across the pavement with a strength she has never seen before. This must be a dream. Her mother was such an obedient wife, she was such an obedient daughter, they have been the most obedient family he would ever have.</p><p> </p><p>Oh, right.</p><p> </p><p>Her father’s obsession is the fortune he had never laid his hands on. Why would he spare a glance on something that he already possess in his hands?</p><p> </p><p>“Mom, LOOK OUT!”</p><p> </p><p>There was a truck speeding beyond limit in front of her distracted mom.</p><p> </p><p>And the dreams were shattered.</p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>She take a last glance as the cloth was being unfolded.</p><p> </p><p>Her mom, so young, so obedient, so beautiful. She thinks her love will be enough for the man she ever loved so dearly.</p><p> </p><p>Even though I have been such a good daughter,</p><p> </p><p>Even though I pray for your happiness,</p><p> </p><p>Even though I smile so often,</p><p> </p><p>you still left me.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Sleep & Circadian Disruption</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Rated TW for violence.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Her mind dictating an entire life as this one giant circle of circadian rhythm.</p><p>It comes to her mind every so often, the time she was lifted and cradled, hours after they left her in front of the orphanage. Her first memory was darkness.</p><p>She has always been a calm kid. Too dark, but calming nonetheless. No one has ever feel bad for her skin tone. Not in this place when some have been through worse things.</p><p>Wake up at 5.</p><p>Singing praises at 6.</p><p>Studying at 7.</p><p>Et cetera et cetera.</p><p>It has becoming a routine. A routine that she always did to the utmost detail. Others will brand her insane if they ever found out that she take comfort in this routine.</p><p>She keeps doing the routine until she was 9.</p><p>Until she found herself sitting in a nice room, the owner of the orphanage speaking in the nicest, most gentle way as she always did. Every kid never fails to listen to her for a reason.</p><p>“Hyejin is one of the nicest kids in this orphanage.”</p><p>Ah, right. The name that was always too dull for a girl’s name. Even when they told that they found that name inside the basket where she slept in front of the door.</p><p>“Hyejin-ah, this kind man has expressed his intention of adopting you.”</p><p>--</p><p>The clock was beeping. It was illuminating 7:30 AM.</p><p>Hyejin slowly lifting her upper body in the slowest way possible. She shouldn’t be late for her first day at school. Even though, after being transferred for so many times, there isn’t enough room left for expectations.</p><p>“Hyejin-ah. Are you ready for your first day at school?”</p><p>“Good morning, uncle.” She ruffles through the hem of her uniform, looking for any disheveled yarn. After waiting for some time in front of the door of this huge mansion that has become her new home since last week, Hyejin look at the corner of her eye to her chauffeur that smiles widely in front of a wide limousine. He is a middle-aged man with a smile that is always so simple, a bowtie that is too neat, and a hat that is one size bigger.</p><p>“So chirpy in the morning.”</p><p>“Of course! It is your first day after all. You really should be more excited than I do.”</p><p>Hyejin shrugged. “Where’s dad?”</p><p>“Mr Ahn rushed this morning to attend a company meeting. But he will make time for the dinner tonight.”</p><p>There are no reservations about moving for the nth time. It is all the same pattern that keeps repeating itself: a house that is too big, a bed that is not that comfortable, and a feeling that is not close enough to a place where she can call home. But again, one couldn’t complain with a roof over their head. She kept mum as she step inside the car.</p><p>--</p><p>This has been starting on the wrong foot.</p><p>Their stares as she introduced herself in front of the class. The leering stares from the boys, as well from the girls, even though maybe for a totally different reason. Oh well, she can’t be picky on this. She will just cut this rim and make it into a bowtie…</p><p>A grumbling sound causing her to look from the corner of her eye.</p><p>It’s her classmate. It might be too subtle to notice a droplet of tear precariously hanging around her eyes. Wait. Is she crying?</p><p>“Your scissor is too dull.”</p><p>Turning her neck around spontaneously, her eyes getting wide as Hyejin place her own scissor onto her hand. “Use mine.” After a brief introduction (perhaps out of politeness), they didn’t say much. Hyejin keeps making sure to cut a mean edge and creating flawless shapes that everything has been blocked out.</p><p>Not a good time for a conversation anyway.</p><p>--</p><p>“I will come with you if you want to-”</p><p>It’s been a while since she got some sleep, and now a random dude just has to break it. Her mouth was getting close to spouting strings of curses before their eyes met. Huh. The classmate? She swears it was a dude.</p><p>The classmate is about to let out another voice that sounds a little bit too deep before another voice interrupts. “Stop.” The poor girl. She must be talking to her out of politeness. So letting her go with a thank you note is the least she can do, right?</p><p>And she must be the timid one too. That tinge of red at the cheek she touched is kind of too hard not to miss.</p><p>--</p><p>“How’s school?”</p><p>“It’s fun.”</p><p>Everyone would agree that the most delicious food and beverages does not really ensure a hearty dinner.</p><p>Mr. Ahn, her benefactor, as she like to call it, chuckled. “It’s been two years since I take you under my care, yet you still act like we were strangers, Hyejin-ah.”</p><p>“I apologize. It is just a habit for me to always speak formally to an elderly.”</p><p>He let out a hearty laugh. “I am sorry for neglecting you for the past weeks. It has been quite hectic with all these new customers, you see…” The dining room grow larger as he stands and steps forward to Hyejin’s seat. “After all, I am the elder here, I was supposed to take care of you.” He slides his fingers to caress her cheek, which slowly tracing to her arms, snaking downwards in a unhurried manner.</p><p>His hands stay on Hyejin’s thigh, caressing it carefully. “Keep your door unlocked tonight, you hear me?”</p><p>Hell must be the place where her parents condemned her to.</p><p>--</p><p>“Hyejin?”</p><p>“Uncle…”</p><p>“What happened to you?” The scattered toothbrushes. The remains of undigested food waste splattering around the sink, smeared to the shower curtain. The girl who seemed to lose all will to live. The old man can feel a clench to his old heart. “I’ve been knocking for hours!”</p><p>“It’s fine, uncle. I don’t think I can come to school today. I think I mistakenly eating something bad-” Her eyes getting as wide as saucers as she snapped and hurrying to the sink, her entire face covered by hair as she hurled continuously.</p><p>Hyejin can feel light pinching around her back as she puked her heart out. After she rinsed, she look upward to find the old man’s face. His wrinkles are becoming more apparent when he’s frowning. It’s the same look he’s always sporting ever since she put Ahn in front of her name.</p><p>“I told you not to frown, uncle. That wrinkles are so going to burrow inside your face now-” She is unable to finish her sentence when the chauffeur holding her two hands gently by the fingers. It takes a while for her to realize that her shiver has stop when he did it. “Hyejin-ah. Come together with me.”</p><p>It is as if the time was frozen, leaving nothing but words hanging.</p><p>“You can come to my hometown. My wife and daughter will be more than glad to have you there. Anywhere-” His frown becoming even deeper, he convey his words in a softest way possible. “Anywhere but here.”</p><p>The kind words that goes unclear beneath the tears that keeps flowing endlessly.</p><p>--</p><p>The only memory that sticks in her mind was when she first arrived in that house.</p><p>The house is big, the garden is colorful, the maids were there at any beck and call. Everything was so shiny, a thing that never leaves her heart in peace. She cannot get used to it when she was by herself, getting lost in a garden labyrinth with scanty branches and thorny in the middle of the house party for whose existence she just didn’t know and didn’t care.</p><p>A hand that straps out of the bushes frightened her for a second before her arms were being gripped. “I have found you, miss.” It is that chauffeur with simple eyes.</p><p>The rough hands that hold her smaller ones, she can felt nothing but warmth.</p><p> </p><p>The flashback were brief as she pack whatever belongings she can think of in a small trunk. It was simply pitch black outside, no one was in sight. Hearing a small knock on the door, Hyejin clips the lid of her trunk, draping her cardigan in one swift movement. She carefully open the door and slowly power walking to find the chauffeur waiting near the exit. Without exchanging much words, Hyejin was being rushed into a small truck. When he starts the engine, they waste no time to hurry away.</p><p>“Uncle, whose truck is this…?</p><p>“It’s mine. What, looking great?”</p><p>“It’s too cartoon-ish.”</p><p>The idle talk did nothing to calm the back of her mind. Now that they have done it, but after this, what entails? What’s waiting for her? Her track of mind interrupted as she turns to find a black car tailing behind them, multiplying itself like zombies. “Uncle…” There was no hiding the tension in her voice as he look at the rear mirror alarmingly. “They are on us already. Hyejin-ah, make sure your seat belt has been buckled.”</p><p>But she just knew it. Even when one of the car manage to outrun them, intentionally crush to the side, causing the tiny truck to swerve to to the side and crashed unceremoniously to the curb, flipping itself in the process. Everything becomes a blur as Hyejin screams with whatever strength she have left. “Uncle!” A trickle of blood streaming from his nose. “We have to call an ambulance! I just-”</p><p>“Hyejin-ah, I’m fine…” Her eyes widened and feeling burned. Why did she agree to this? There is no time to think as the old man touch her cheek gently. “You were always too small and too kind Hyejin-ah… Please…”</p><p>Be happy.</p><p>Her hands feels damp against the chauffeur’s hand that is getting colder. Nothing stops her to grab it in a tighter hold, trying so hard to contain his soul and perhaps, saving her own. Would anyone hear her scream? He doesn’t deserve this. Her mind becoming muddled between rushing steps of loafers clacking towards the truck. This is what she gets for disrupting her own circadian rhythm. This is what she gets for not doing anything in a complete order, for not listening to what’s best for everyone.</p><p>This- </p><p> </p><p>--</p><p> </p><p>White walls surround her whole existence in a dream.</p><p>She woke up and walking towards a mirror, checking whatever has being left behind. Tiny hickeys scattering around her neck and clavicles like a freshly made wound, and rumbling sound booming from her below, threatening to push the stomach content to the brim. She cupped her hand in a desperate succession.</p><p>Her eyes keeps looking around. Something that she never fails to do every time she found herself here.</p><p>“Uncle!”</p><p>Not even an echo.</p><p>“Why are you not even coming to my dream?!”</p><p>There is no answer. She knew.</p><p>“I am so sorry for ruining all of this. I am so sorry for everything.”</p><p>Her words were met with deafening silence. Her tears were hot and raw as she kneels to the white tile.</p><p>I miss you so much, uncle. I am so sorry for my whole existence.</p><p> </p><p>It is an apology that, deep in her heart, would not even reach anyone even after a lifetime.</p>
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